


As You Were(n't)

by MissLuci



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-07-13
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:28:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25242424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissLuci/pseuds/MissLuci
Summary: Riley wasn’t alone when he burst into Spike’s crypt looking for the eggs, inadvertently catching our favorite vampire in bed (or rather on top of sarcophagus) with Buffy.  One of the scoobies was with him.  One with former ‘military experience’.  How does Xander’s presence alter the ending of this episode?
Relationships: Spike/Buffy Summers
Comments: 3
Kudos: 40





	As You Were(n't)

**Author's Note:**

> As You Were is a military command meaning you should return to your previous posture after coming to attention. I always thought the title of this episode was a bit odd. What did they want Buffy to return to? Her relationship with Riley? Moot point, since he was married, though he acted like a single TOOL when he first arrived. (Who else LOVED Sam and thought she deserved more than Riley?) Did they want Buffy to return to being miserable and unable to love? I think she was already there, except she was ‘Post-dead girl in heaven’ sad instead of ‘Post-dead ex wanker bf leaving’ sad.   
> She was trying to work through it with her new, way hotter, way more personality-ed undead lover.
> 
> WHEN…
> 
> The Spuffy train got totally derailed by "Captain Cardboard and his fantastic freight train of suckage". 
> 
> I hated, Hated, HATED the ending of this episode. It set up so much badness that could have been avoided if not for the sadistic twat whose name shall remain nameless. *cough* Whoss Jedon *cough*. I could feel my own heart breaking along with William/Spike. 
> 
> I needed to fix this because eighteen years after the fact, plot bunnies woke me up at 5 am, humping my leg until I gave them attention and fed them carrots. 
> 
> I wanted Buffy to return to Spike, only this time, make it as they WEREN’T.
> 
> Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Spike had been drifting in and out of a dreamless sleep for the past half hour. His eyes were currently closed, but he was partially awake. He consciously matched Buffy’s steady breathing with his own unnecessary breath. He could hardly believe it when she first fell asleep against his side. She looked so peaceful. It wasn’t a look she wore very often and rarely in his presence. He had lain next to her and contemplated their lovemaking. There was no denying it. That’s what it was this time, no matter what she might say once the sun rose. It wasn’t just sex. Spike knew sex. He'd had sex for over a hundred years. This was more. She’d come to him in need, as always, but something in her eyes told him it was different. She'd asked if he loved her, asked if he wanted her. She needed to know. Wanted to be sure. He didn't know what had changed, but of course he told her. He would always tell her. He’d had a feeling she wouldn’t push him away if he were gentle with her this time. 

She'd let him set the pace. He'd moved over her with slow and steady care, caressing her arms, her chest, her golden thighs as they fell open to his probing fingers, touching her wetness, slipping inside. Tasting her on his fingertips before dipping back, feeling her clench around him, knowing what she wanted, feeling her need, making her wait. When he ran his tongue over her nipples, she arched under his lips. She begged him for more. He tangled his hands in her hair and slipped his tongue inside her hot mouth, swallowing her cries of pleasure as their bodies slid together in a slow, rocking rhythm. He sank deep, feeling her muscular walls clench around him with every thrust, holding him, pulling him in, her arms around him, grasping, eyes open, seeing him as he saw her. He felt his climax surge through him and then they were breaking together like a tsunami on the shore and she screamed his name and held him tight as she came and came and came. All the while, he chanted a silent canticle, _Buffy, Buffy, BUFFY, I love you, I Love You, I LOVE YOU._ It was glorious. 

Their kisses had been sweeter than candy, full and rich and bursting with the flavor of a fresh peach on a hot summer day. She’d given him more than a crumb. It was an entire slice of cake. 

It took every ounce of his control not to say _I love you._ He knew the words would make her shatter. Then she’d crash down and fall back into a hard fuck against his hard body. When she wanted him like that, he would speak to her of his love. He’d say the words. And she would punish him, climbing on top and pounding against him with an animal-like fury. Scratching, screaming, angry. Sometimes she hit him and he hit her back. It was what she wanted, so he gave it to her. Sometimes she needed the hard fuck. Needed it to feel. Spike knew that. He loved it, but he loved her more. Let her take what she needed, gave her his hardness, let her spend herself on his strength, on his willing cock. He gave her what she needed, always. As much as he wanted to be slow and gentle, to make love to her, he knew she needed the other. He’d be whatever she needed, even when it hurt. Of course he would. He loved her. 

This time though, he’d kept the words inside, swallowed them, buried them, planted them inside her willing body with his tongue, his fingers, his lips, his cock. She let him in and he'd shown her. He loved her with every gentle caress, every kiss, every slow press of his fingers circling and teasing her swollen clit, every stroke of his cock. He made love to her with every part of his body and gave her every piece of his unbeating heart. He gave it all until he felt her fall apart around him. 

And he knew. He could smell it in her arousal; tangy, sharp and honeyed, pooling between her legs, flowing against his hand, his fingers, his mouth. He could hear it in every sound she made, her pretty moans which gathered low and came out husky and wild; scraping and clawing from her throat like raw silk over cut glass. He could feel it with every tender kiss she gave, the arch of her back, the quick hitch of her breath as he touched the spot inside that made her scream. He could see it in her eyes, wide and trusting, telling him things she could not say. 

Then, afterwards, their bodies slick with sweat, their juices drying sticky on their thighs, she lay boneless and sated and thoroughly his. He thought it couldn't get any better. Not until she said it, until she told him what he knew. 

She’d fallen asleep next to him with a soft sigh and a smile on her face. A smile he’d put there. _God, I love her so much._

Spike was shaken from his thoughts by the crypt door slamming open with a loud bang. He shot up on the sarcophagus ready to pounce on whatever idiotic creature that dared disturb his sanctuary. 

A sardonic smirk spread over his face at the startled expressions on the faces of the intruders. Buffy stirred next to him and sat up slowly, blinking to focus in the dimness of the crypt and clutching a sheet against her flushed chest.

“Buffy?!” Xander exclaimed in shock as he took in the site of his friend spread out on the stone coffin next to the naked vampire.

“Xan,… I, uh. Hi! Riley? What are you doing here?”

“Got a tip. _Spike_ is your informant?” Riley sneered as he spit the vampire’s name through clenched teeth.

“Um, yes…” Buffy mumbled as she wrapped the sheet tightly around herself and slipped off the sarcophagus. She made her way over to the pile of her discarded clothing.

“Interesting way of interrogating.” Xander snorted.

Buffy glared at him until he looked away.

Meanwhile, Spike had hopped down, undisturbed by his own nakedness, and was casting a glance around looking for his pants that had been tossed away. The two intruders averted their eyes as the vampire casually walked past them and plucked his jeans from their landing spot on a shelf in the corner.

As soon as Spike had covered his lower half, Riley addressed him. “So, DOCTOR, where are the eggs?”

“Not sure what you’re talking about.” 

Buffy had finished getting dressed and she looked at Riley as if he were crazy. “Doctor? It can't be Spike.”

“Don’t need to defend me, pet.” Spike said as he came over to stand beside her.

“Shut up, Spike! Riley, what makes you think it’s Spike?”

“Ask him.” Riley crossed his arms and waited.

Buffy turned to Spike and placed a hand on his arm. “Please, do not lie to me. Do you know who the doctor is?”

“No, luv, I swear. Already told you.”

Riley butted in. “Buffy, you can’t believe him. It’s Spike, he’s evil, he lies!”

“Shut up, Riley!” She turned back to Spike. “Do you know anything about some demon eggs?”

Spike looked at the ground for a moment before glancing back up at Buffy. “Yeah… holdin’ em for a friend.” He mumbled.

“See, I told you he knew!”

Buffy whipped her head around at Riley's outburst. “And I told you to shut up!" She turned back around. "Spike, why?”

“Berk said he’d give me money. A lot of it. Was doin’ it for you, pet. Wanted to give you the dosh. Get you away from that grease pit. Slayer shouldn’t have to work another job. Council of Wankers should pay you.“ Spike lifted a hand to touch her face, but let it fall to his side in defeat. He knew that look. She was furious.

“Where are they, Spike?”

“Lower level. I’ll help.”

“NO! Don’t. You stay up here. You’ve done enough.”

“If they aren’t frozen, we’re going to have a serious problem in less than five minutes.” Riley stated blandly.

Spike watched as Buffy and Riley dropped down to the lower level. After a few moments of muffled conversation, they began blasting away at the eggs which had been tucked away in the corner of his bedroom. He should have known it was a scam. He was sure Buffy was back to hating him. Probably out the dosh too. He dropped his shoulders and sighed heavily. 

Xander finally spoke up. “You really care for her, don’t you?” 

“Harris. Forgot you were here. Yeah, love the girl. But, I’m a vampire. Don’t always make good choices. Learnin’, ain’t I? Haven’t tied her up lately… well, not when she didn't ask for it.”

“AHH, my ears! Spike, no, just… no. I do NOT need to know what kind of kinky stuff goes on with…OK, this is me not talking anymore because… lalalala, my brain is being fried with pictures of...things.”

Xander hollered into the opening where the sound of gunfire had stopped. “How’s it going down there? Need any help? Please say you need help!"

Two answers were shouted back to him at the same time.

“The threat has been contained.”

“Scrambled eggs for breakfast with a side of goo.” 

Xander smiled and shook his head. He tried to catch Spike’s eye to see if he'd heard Buffy's silly remark, but the vampire was pacing and watching the opening to his bedroom with a worried expression.

Riley climbed up first. He stuck a hand out for Buffy, who ignored the offering. She stalked over to Spike and slapped him hard. 

He covered the mark with his hand. “I deserved that.” 

“Spike, what were you thinking?!” 

“Was thinkin’ you could quit that job you hate. Didn’t know they were gonna hatch if they weren’t cold, did I? Wanker told me he'd give me five grand if I let him use my crypt for a few hours. Was just some eggs, Buffy. Didn't know they were evil. Didn't know heat makes 'em hatch. I didn't think there was anything wrong with it.”

“That’s your problem, Spike! You don’t think about all the things that could be wrong. It didn't occur to you that there might be something a little fishy about someone paying you five thousand dollars for a one day subscription to _Vampire Crypts R Us?_ "

Spike shuffled his feet. "Was just a few hours." 

Buffy threw up her hands. "What difference does it make? You said he was a friend. Did you even know the guy?" 

"Never seen 'im before tonight." He admitted. "I'm sorry, Buffy. Swear, I didn't know. Just wanted to help my girl."

"How could you have been so stupid? And I've told you, I’m NOT your girl.”

"It's Spike. He's always stupid." Riley muttered.

"Shut UP, Riley! God, Spike! I'm so mad, I don't even know what to say right now!"

Xander cleared his throat. “Um, Buffy… I’m not saying what he did was right and I’m not saying I like this… with him. Still kinda wigging out about your last vampire boyfriend going all _Natural Born Killers_ on us, but I don't think Spike's lying.”

Spike turned to Xander in surprise.

Buffy turned to stare in open mouthed amazement at her friend. “What did you say? I don’t think I heard you. It sounded like you were defending SPIKE!”

“Buffy, there’s no way he knew those things would hatch outside of a freezer or that they were super dangerous. Someone had to have set him up. He would never have put you or himself in such a risky position.”

Buffy scowled at Xander with her arms crossed over her chest. “Go on, you’re making a twisted kind of sense. Though, I still can’t get over the fact that you’re sticking up for him.” She jerked her thumb towards Spike.

Spike continued to gape at Xander as if the young man were possessed.

“When me and Riley came in here, we obviously didn’t expect to see... Uh… what we saw. Riley said someone told him to check Spike's crypt. We obviously woke you up, and Spike was pretty out of it too. Neither of you were exactly dressed for combat. If Spike really knew the threat those eggs posed, he wouldn't have let you fall asleep.”

“Buffy, you can’t seriously be listening to this?!” Riley protested.

“Shut up, Riley!” Both Xander and Buffy barked at the soldier. 

Buffy held up a hand. "Wait, no, tell me something...Who told you to check Spike's crypt?"

"What are you accusing me of?" 

"I'm not accusing you of anything. I just want to know who told you to come here? Who was YOUR informant, Riley?" Buffy tapped her foot and waited for his answer.

"I don't have to listen to this nonsense." Riley stomped out of the crypt glowering at Spike, who continued to look gobsmacked. 

The door slammed behind the soldier and a quiet hush descended over the three Sunnydale residents. Each of them lost in their own thoughts.

Xander broke the silence. “Well, that was telling." 

"What do you mean?" Buffy asked.

"Riley came to me after he knew, or thought he knew, you were with his wife."

"Cornbread got married?" Spike exclaimed.

"Shut up, Spike!" Xander and Buffy said simultaneously. 

"Just surprised any bird would marry the sod is all. Must have a screw loose."

"Actually, Sam's pretty awesome, right, Buff?"

"Yeah, she's great. He doesn't deserve her. Now what were you saying about Riley coming to see you?"

"The way I figure it is: he got you out of the way. Thought you were with Sam, right?"

"Yeah…"

"He came and got me saying he needed my help with Spike. That doesn’t make sense. Why would he need MY help when he's got a slayer and a demon-hunting, soldier-wife within range of their highly advanced communication devices?"

"Captain Cardboard's wife is a soldier? Bet she's homely." Spike said.

"Actually, no, she's beautiful. Smart and funny too."

"Plus, she's really nice. I wanted to hate her, but it's impossible." Buffy added to Xander's assessment.

"Oh, huh...kinda sad I missed meeting her then. Sorry, Whelp, you were defending my virtue or summat like that? Carry on."

Buffy rolled her eyes and Xander continued. "So instead of contacting two powerful women; I know at least one of them can kick his ass with her pinky finger and slay demons blindfolded, he comes to me. A regular guy, with one night of military memory implanted in my brain from a spell. I'm the only one he knows that hates Spike as much as he does."

"Oi! That hurts."

"I don't really hate you, Spike, not since the whole Glory thing, but that's not the point. Riley THINKS I do. With Buffy and Sam out of the picture…"

"Oh my god, Xander!! He brought you here to kill Spike! Riley set him up! How could he?!"

"Revenge is an ugly monster, pet. Cardboard always thought we had a thing goin'. Before we did, that is. Staked me for it once. Was plastic, but still hurt like a bitch. Took over a week to heal."

"What?! You never told me that!" Buffy screamed.

"Had a few drinks with him after I pulled the stake outta my heart. Thought we had an understanding."

Xander exhaled sharply at Spike's words. "You're so strange. Riley stabbed you in the heart, then you went on a bender together?! I mean, I get that you're a vampire. That could be a normal Tuesday for you. But, Riley? What the hell is wrong with him?"

Buffy shook her head. "Xander, you really don't want to know half the crap that's wrong with Riley." 

"Yeah, I'm getting that picture and it’s not pretty. I'm sorry I tried to talk you into making him stay. Glad you didn't catch him."

"Me too, Xan. Now, finish what you were saying."

"So, we've established that Riley had an ulterior motive tonight. And he probably had his meat hooks in whoever planted the eggs in Spike's crypt. Riley used Spike's feelings for you to bribe him into allowing the eggs to be _stored safely for a few hours._ " Xander punctuated his statement with air quotes. "It sounds to me like Spike here is the one with honorable intentions, as cracked up as his methods may be. Buffy, you know how I feel about vampires, but I can’t believe Spike would ever endanger your life. As crazy as it sounds coming from me, I think he really does love you.”

“God, Xander, I can’t believe you of all people…” She shook her head.

“I call it like I see it, Buffster. And the way I see it is; Riley is the one with blood on his hands. Spike, while he may not be innocent, had your best interests at heart. You’re my friend, Buffy. I love you. You know that, right? I'm giving the peroxide pest here the biggest pass of his life because I believe he’s telling the truth. It’s the only thing that makes sense.”

Buffy turned back to Spike, who was watching the exchange between the two with wide eyes.

“I think I need to talk to Spike alone.”

“Yeah, good idea.” Xander turned to leave. “And, Buffy, I won’t say anything about… well, about your relationship with evil undead here. At least not until you're ready, no matter what your decision may be.”

“Thank you.” she answered quietly.

“Xander, wait.” Spike so rarely used his real name, it froze the man in his tracks

Spike put a hand on Xander's shoulder. “Thanks, mate. I won’t ever forget this.”

Xander nodded and closed the door quietly behind him.

Spike took a deep breath and turned around. “Buffy, I…”

"Wait." She stopped him. "Me first.” She stood completely still. Spike was unable to read the look in her eyes. Her face was a blank mask. “Spike, I keep coming to you when I need something. You're always there for me. You were there for me even when I was gone. Now, I come to you when I want you to touch me. Don't look surprised. You're a vampire. You have to know I want you. I've wanted you for a long time. I know you want me too, but when I come to you, I only think of myself. I’m just being weak and selfish.”

“Really not complaining here.” Spike protested.

“Being with you makes things simpler... for a little while.”

“Don’t call five hours straight a little while.”

“Spike, please… I’m trying to... Buffy and words, non-mixy. This is hard for me.”

“Sorry, luv.”

“Spike, I’m using you…and it’s killing me.” The pain in her voice was almost palatable. It hung in the air like a thick fog and tore into the vampire with the force of a stake to the heart.

A stricken expression crossed Spike’s face at her words. Man and demon were both filled with a sick sense of dismay. _It's hurting her… hurting the girl…_

“I have to be strong about this. Spike, it’s over.”

_God, no… gonna dust..._

“Spike, I can’t do this anymore, not after tonight.”

Spike dropped to his knees. His chin fell to his chest. 

Buffy sank down next to him. “I’m sorry, William.”

“Buffy, please… can’t go on without you.”

“What? Who said anything about being without me? Spike? Look at me!” Buffy lifted his head until he was looking at her. His cheeks were wet with tears and his eyes filled with sorrow. 

“You did, pet. Said it was over. Knew I’d mess this up. Always bollocks things up with you.”

“No, Spike! Stop! This is why I shouldn't try to talk. What I meant was; I don’t WANT to do this anymore.”

Spike groaned and a fresh wave of tears spilled onto his cheeks. 

Buffy sighed. “Let me start again.” She stood up and tugged on Spike's hands until he followed her. She led him to the big chair in front of the TV. “Please sit. I’m going to try to say this one more time, this time without screwing up, okay?”

“Okay, Buffy.” Spike answered in a small voice, so unlike his usual bluster.

She knelt beside him and put a hand on his arm. “When I said it was over, I didn’t mean that I didn’t want to see you anymore. I meant that I’m done hiding. Xander knows about us now and even though he said he wouldn't tell, I’m sure Anya will know by the end of the night. Tara already knows.”

“Wait, you told Glinda?”

“I needed someone to talk to. I asked her to check and make sure there was nothing wrong with me. You know, when you could hit me again... I thought… you said…”

“I’m sorry, Buffy. There’s nothing wrong with you. I’m a bloody fool for sayin’ it.”

“Thank you, but you’re distracting me and I'm trying to tell you important things.”

“I’m listenin’.”

“I think we should tell everyone about us. I mean, it’s not like I haven’t dated a vampire before.”

“That might not be the best argument, luv.”

“True. Anyway, what Xander said makes sense. I was embarrassed at the way they found us and I was lashing out at you. That was wrong. I wasn't even giving you a chance to explain. It took Xander, of all people, to point it out. Spike, I’m not sure what I feel for you. I'm still a little numb, but I want to try and figure it out. I think maybe... I...just... I don't know yet. I’m tired of hating myself for wanting you. I’m tired of punishing you for my feelings, whatever they are. I'm tired of us hurting each other. You love me. I know that. I see it in your eyes. I see you, Spike. You’re important to me and I need to stop hiding our relationship just so my friends won’t get upset. Besides, if Xander can handle walking in on us like that and then stand up for you, I don’t think I have anything to worry about.”

Buffy suddenly found herself being pulled into the lap of a smiling vampire who was covering her face with kisses. “God, Slayer, you never stop surprising me. Love you so much. My beautiful girl. Can I call you my girl now? My pretty Slayer. I'm yours. Always be yours. Love you, Buffy. Never gonna make you regret givin’ me this chance. Promise I’ll do my best. May need a little help now and then. Vampire, ya know?”

“Yeah, I had noticed!" Buffy laughed. "Spike? Sometimes you talk too much.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and straddled his hips. 

Spike leaned his forehead against hers. Blue eyes gazed into green. "Love you." He whispered and pressed their lips together in a chaste kiss. 

Buffy buried her face in his neck and inhaled the sweet smell of tobacco, whiskey, leather and Spike. They rested together in peaceful silence until the weird military shirt Riley had given her began to itch. Spike gallantly helped her remove the offending garment along with her boots and slacks. 

That left Buffy chilled wearing only a lacy bra and panties. Spike exchanged his jeans for a pair of Xander's old sweats he'd never returned when Buffy asked him to get the fluffy blanket he kept on his bed. They spent the rest of the night cuddled together. A tableau of warm slayer nestled against cool vampire under a fluffy blanket. Folded together in an oversized chair, kissing softly, talking quietly, touching gently.

In the morning, Buffy opened the crypt door. She needed a shower and a change of clothes. Plus, she had a stupid lunch shift at the stupid Doublemeat Dungeon. Despite the promise of becoming smelly, greasy Buffy by the time her shift ended, she felt a surge of hope for the first time since she’d been brought back. She looked over her shoulder at Spike who was lounging against the wall, far away from the direct rays of sun pouring through the open door. He was watching her with a wide, boyish grin plastered across his face. She couldn't help smiling back at him. “I get off at 5 today. Come by the house after dark. I'm calling an emergency Scooby meeting. We’ve got an announcement to make.” 

As she closed the door, she heard a loud whoop of joy coming from inside. An answering bubble of happiness escaped her throat in the form of a girlish giggle. 

She began to run home, leaping over headstones and dodging trees. She felt like singing. She hoped it wasn't another spell.

**Author's Note:**

> I noticed something on my quick rewatch to steal original lines. I’ve NEVER picked up on this before - Riley says, “You’re a hell of a woman, Buffy.”
> 
> What an interesting bit of foreshadowing. Either that, or someone liked the line so much they needed to use it again in a much more memorable way. Course, I think ANYTHING coming out of Spike’s mouth is memorable.   
> Mmmmmm...Such a pretty, pouty, beautiful mouth.


End file.
